Anxiety

This is near and dear to my heart – as much as anxiety can be anyway. I have always had anxiety – over everything. Call me a worry wart or what have you, but panic attacks were an almost daily occurrence for me until I got help. I thought I had it under control…until the birth of my son.

Let me tell you – postpartum anxiety is real and it’s something we don’t like to talk about.

I now worry about EVERYTHING. From his safety to feeding at the right time, almost every part of my day involves my freaking out over keeping this young human alive, happy, fed, and content. It’s debilitating. So why do I feel like the only one?

Because we are told that kids are strong, they can handle a lot more than we think. Or told that there is nothing to worry about and everything will work out. I can tell you those things are not helpful to one pre-disposed to anxiety. I can tell you I have tried meditation, drugs, mindfulness, the works when it comes to “curing” anxiety. Nothing prepares you to have another human being rely on you for everything.

So what is there to do? I find solace in knowing I am not the only one. That can come in the form of talking about it to someone who also has kids or my husband (though his laid back nature is a slight hinderance to his understanding of it, but he tries to get it). I love my child and would do anything but sometimes the fear is paralyzing.

So what do you do? What is your way of coping with the massive responsibility?

 

XO-Daniella

My Favorite Things…so far.

So I figured I would give my top favorite things in my time as a mom. Here’s my top 5 favorite things for a baby.

 

1. Halo Swaddle

We love this thing. The swaddle blankets come undone – this thing (and my son is a wiggle bot) doesn’t let him escape. We had our son in the crib from almost day one – he hated the pack-n-play bassinet and seemed most content in his crib. Well we would swaddle him and he would escape! The hospital gave us one of these, plus we received one from our baby shower and let me tell you – life saver. Our son would wake himself up if he could escape the swaddle. With the Halo, he actually slept pretty much through the night since a month in.

2. Swing

For a long time before we got a swing my son would only nap on me. Which is seriously debilitating. I couldn’t drink my coffee which is detrimental to everyone around me. He loved the swinging movement so we decided to get a swing. LIFESAVER. This is his new nap spot now – I would recommend getting one that swings both side to side and back and forth with a mobile that moves.

3. Development Ball

This thing basically pays for itself in entertainment. It also helped my son learn to sit up on his own. The rattle isn’t too annoying and it has many different colors and textures to stimulate the senses.

4. Boppy Lounger

This is more for the newborn stage but it was a lifesaver. It gives a safe spot for him to hang out and my arms a break, especially after a C-section. I was on my own 2 weeks after birth and just needed a spot to put the baby (we have dogs so right on the floor wasn’t the best option).

5. Ergobaby

This one you probably get a lot but the hype is REAL. I had to do chores after my family left and need my hands – well enter the Ergobaby and I was good to go. You will need to but the infant insert if you are going to use it from day one and it is a bit pricy but so worth it. I went for 2 hour hikes and the performance carrier was perfect – basically Mason nor I didn’t sweat like dogs. Be aware that some are only 3-way and some are the 4-way when purchasing.

 

Well those are my lifesavers in these 4 months of motherhood – let me know your favorite products!

 

– Daniella

 

Birth

Well, my son is sleeping and I have time to start something I have wanted to do for a long time…a blog. So here it is. My story starts with the birth of my son, 4 months ago. It wasn’t what I expected AT ALL.

 

I woke up around 1 a.m the morning of 2/9/17 and knew something was going on. Next thing I know my water breaks (thankfully on the bathroom floor). So what do I do? Well after screaming for my husband I realize my hair is a mess so I call the hospital to let them know to expect me and then go straighten my hair. Cause that’s the brilliant thing to do when going into labor right? We finally get to the hospital and while leaking everything everywhere, they basically have to admit me even though my contractions are far apart (9 minutes) and I’m not dilated really. So…instead of sleeping like I should I call my mother to freak her out a bit and then watch horrible late night television.

 

Around 7 am they decide to start Pitocin. I have heard horrible things but want to move things along so I agree and away we go. Contractions get worse but I still barely dilate. I finally stop being stubborn and get the epidural around 11 am. Things are fine till about 2, when the nurses start coming in more and more. I realize something isn’t quite right.

 

Well, it seems my low blood pressure coupled with the baby’s irregular heart rate wasn’t doing me any favors in the “ride it out” method. My doctor, who is quite possibly a goddess for staying around this whole time, tells me to start the possibility of a C-section. I freak. Not in the crying sort of way but I can’t stop shaking. It’s the last thing I wanted – for one I am terrified of any surgery and two-well I had it in my head it wasn’t going to go down like that. But I try to be one to roll with the punches and kept my fingers crossed. My husband leaves to go take care of our furry kids when the nurse comes in and tells me to call him back (thankfully he JUST got into the car).

 

They didn’t want to push it any more – they had tried the “around the world” notion of flipping me all sorts of ways but it didn’t do anything. Baby wasn’t wanting to come out. So as they are disinfecting me, they are telling me it’s C-section time and I am attempting to sign things while shaking like a leaf. I use humor to deflect so thankfully the nurses put up with my sarcasm. Off we went… granted they almost forgot my husband in the process but he made it in time.

 

As far as birth stories go… not the most exciting or glamorous (I brought make up it just never happened to go on my face). But it brought my beautiful son into this world and I am thankful for that.